Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize