Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
