Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes. http://tfl.nu/c6y2
  Replies (9) Good night (826) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl http://tfl.nu/yfjk
  Replies (17) Good night (1009) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old (503): You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24. http://tfl.nu/2eqo
  Replies (7) Good night (693) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."

  (815): View more from Illinois

  oh god.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer." (815): oh god. http://tfl.nu/0mg8
  Replies (25) Good night (4688) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number. http://tfl.nu/71o2
  Replies (28) Good night (1604) Bad night (4625)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that... http://tfl.nu/hzwk
  Replies (25) Good night (4678) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle. http://tfl.nu/3luk
  Replies (25) Good night (6199) Bad night (1859)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up. http://tfl.nu/3kb7
  Replies (21) Good night (4335) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming http://tfl.nu/8wbb
  Replies (4) Good night (1999) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick. http://tfl.nu/p5hu
  Replies (22) Good night (3695) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston. http://tfl.nu/atcw
  Replies (11) Good night (1558) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese. (404): My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe. http://tfl.nu/muox
  Replies (15) Good night (2811) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room. http://tfl.nu/7y89
  Replies (3) Good night (1451) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina. http://tfl.nu/1cex
  Replies (11) Good night (822) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest. http://tfl.nu/ifrd
  Replies (8) Good night (196) Bad night (544)

Randomize