Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.