No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe