I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
