ADVERTISEMENT

• (815): View more from Illinois

  I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.

  Fav 12 982 4245

  share tweet
  

• (516): View more from New York

  A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.

  Fav 39 2261 8289

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him

  Fav 4 1203 2161

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.

  Fav 6 3792 1380

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night

  Fav 11 2764 1261

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands

  Fav 22 2454 1433

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat

  Fav 3 3045 1550

  share tweet
  

• (989): View more from Michigan

  i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.

  Fav 1 2835 963

  share tweet
  

• (209): View more from California

  Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?

  Fav 9 3259 798

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.

  Fav 4 1498 716

  share tweet
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.

  Fav 3 2009 800

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"

  Fav 2 967 661

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?

  Fav 2 1044 469

  share tweet
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable

  (303): View more from Colorado

  thermos full of jaeger bombs?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Affirmative

  Fav 3 1308 638

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.

  Fav 0 266 194

  share tweet
  

Randomize