it wasn't lemon gatorade
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
