i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
