You can't special order awesome
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
