You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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