I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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