and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
