you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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