Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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