lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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