She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
