Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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