I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize