i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
