Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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