Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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