it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
