Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
