Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
