Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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