Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
high people should be assigned attendants
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
