i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Betty ford says i'm here all night
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
