I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
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In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
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All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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