Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
