you told grandpa to call you daddy
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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