We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize