Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
