this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
