im drinking this country out of the recession.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
