I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
