the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
