New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
