The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
