Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
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He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
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Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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