More tranny stories later!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
