I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
