why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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