I will die if light touches me.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize