shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
