My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
