My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
this just has baby written all over it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
