Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
