i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I've blown a few things in my day
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
