I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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