I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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