soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
