Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
