i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
