It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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