dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
