So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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