she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Randomize
