and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We had sex on a dog bed..
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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