Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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