Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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