My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
