Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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