Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
