we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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