that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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