So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
