How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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