i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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