Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
