just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
