He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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