hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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