Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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