Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
